Friday, March 30, 2007

When You Gotta Go, You Gotta Go

Even though it's Friday I actually have no specific article for you today. There have been no shortage of articles on today's topic.

I'd like to hop on the bandwagon and talk about Lisa Nowak. She's probably one of the worlds most famous astronauts right now. She found herself caught in a love triangle and decided to drive 900 miles to confront her competition. Now, most articles on this subject always feel the need to mention how she wore adult diaper[s] on her trek, presumably so she wouldn't have to stop as often.

A few things occur to me when I read about this:

  1. On a 900 mile drive she would have had to stop for gas a number of times (unless she was in a Jetta TDI) so why not go to the washroom as necessary on her fill-ups?

  2. This has to be the most embarrassing part of the story for her. Many many people have been arrested for attempted murder or kidnapping or whatever. Yet you rarely hear about how someone decided to wear adult diapers for the drive. The media seems to feel the need to mention this every time they talk about her.

    Attempted whatever maybe morally shameful, but the embarrassment factor isn't nearly as high as the embarrassment factor of the adult diaper thing.

    I feel bad for her on this count.

  3. It is supposed that the reason she wore the adult diapers was to reduce stops. But, surely someone who's smart enough to learn to be an astronaut is smart enough to figure "If I have to go, then I'll just find a place or go at the gas stations." So this leads me to think there was another reason. She was probably in a hurry and didn't want to take the extra time to bother with finding washrooms, asking to use them, wait in line, use the faculties, then wash her hands, and wait the for blow dryer to dry her hands. This would add time to her journey.

    And peeing is inefficient. When you're peeing, there's not much else you can do. It's not long enough to read, do a crossword puzzle, write your memoirs, or operate heavy machinery .

    Adult diapers solve these problems. When she has to go, she just lets go and doesn't have to worry about the upholstery in her car. She doesn't have to worry about finding a washroom, or the time it takes to wash her hands properly. It also allows her to do two things at once. She can answer nature's call whilst driving, find a new station on the radio, apply her make-up, talk on her cell phone, and review her list of things to do/say to Colleen Shipman.

    So, this very smart person, who eventually became an astronaut seemed to think that the time saving properties of adult diapers were worth the potential for embarrassment. This makes me wonder "how many managers have implemented adult diaper policies at work?" If there's a way to increase productivity of employees, someone somewhere must have tried it somewhere, sometime.

    I don't know how many man-hours of work, and therefore lost dollars in productivity, are lost each year due to bathroom breaks. It may or may not be significant, but as many of you know, just because a loss in productivity is insignificant this doesn't stop managers from trying to stop it.

    I can imagine a new employee's first day at work.

    New employee: "Where's the washroom's around here?"

    Boss: "Never mind that now. Anyway, as I was saying, about your uniform; you supply the socks and shoes. We supply the shirts, pants, ties, hats, and diapers."

And, now I will leave you with this picture of a Lisa Nowak With Failed Adult Diaper One-Of-A-Kind action figure that sold on eBay for $102.

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