Friday, February 27, 2009

His Name Told Him To

Sometimes a person's name can be influential on their life. Meet Mr. Nickerson, or should that be Mr. Knickers-on? For, you see, Mr. Nickerson is the star of Today's Article.

Mr. Nickerson got drunk, took a walk in the woods, and took his trousers off to answer nature's call. In his inebriated state, he lost his trousers. He stumbled around until he found the home of a couple of senior citizens. He broke in, found a package of women's adult diapers. Then, well, as his name told him to, Mr. Knickers-on put the knickers on. He put them on over his own underpants. He passed out and was found by the owners of the home the next morning.

The woman ran to a neighbour to get away, call the police, etc. When she told her neighbour, I wonder if the neighbour asked "Where is he now?" and she answered "Under there!" thus forcing the neighbour to say "under where?" I know I couldn't have resisted.

Nickerson was arrested, fined, and given probation.

I can imagine a conversation between Mr. Nickerson and his lawyer going like this:

Lawyer: "You're in a wee bit of crap now."

Nickerson: "Do you think I'll get off?"

Lawyer: "Depends. How many times have you been in trouble with the law?"

Nickerson: "This is number 1."

This is one of those stories where the embarrassment factor of the crime outweighs any punishment that could have been handed down by the judge. I don't know if Mr. Nickerson thought he was going to jail, but I bet he was relieved to find out he wasn't.

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