My Haunting Dreams

The rapture was supposed to happen on Saturday, and I, for one, am glad it didn't. Here's why.

As a Christian, I'm looking forward to the rapture. I'm not entirely sure I believe in the rapture, but if there is one, then I'm looking forward to it. Of course, I'm assuming I won't be left below. It's about the only way you can never die.

I figure that Heaven is going to be really busy right after the rapture. There's going to be lots of administrative work to be done. I imagine that there will be long lines, and insane waiting times.

One of the things I look forward to when I die is getting my haunting license. I'd like to come back and haunt a family in a big, old house. But for that I think I'd have to wait for my Family-In-A-Big-Old-House tags. Otherwise, I'll be stuck haunting schizophrenics in an asylum. The patients will tell the nurses they're being haunted, and the nurses will just say "Of course you are." And no one will believe them, not even Agent Mulder.

But after the rapture, Heaven will be way to busy for me to take haunting courses, let alone applying and waiting for the license. It could take decades. As you read Revelation, you can see that stuff gets more and more surreal as the tribulation continues. Haunting won't be as fun anymore. Then after the seven year tribulation period is up, haunting will be pointless.  People will have a better understanding of the after-life.

But, since the rapture didn't happen, I can continue on with my haunting dreams.