Monday, May 30, 2011

There Are No Anchovies

A little while ago I blogged that I don't believe in Anchovies; I'm an A-Anchoviest. Things have changed.  Now I'm a believer.  I feel like my sole has been saved.

This is the bassic story of my conversion.

A friend at work saw my blog and told me he has had anchovies. Then we walked through Costco and he tried showed me some.  But they didn't have any.  He assured me if I went into any Italian grocery store they'd have them.  I thought he was just throwing me a red herring.  I mean, for cod's sake, did he think I was some kinda sucker?  Or, maybe he was just being koi?

My next clue was when someone at the office came into my cubicle one morning and plunked down a jar of anchovies onto my desk and walked away.  Walleye thought something smelt fishy after that.  I started to trout my beliefs.

I took the jar home and decided to make a pizza with anchovies.  I invited three friends over to share the anchovies.  I didn't want be shellfish, after all.

So, we made the pizza.  (In fact me made two in a roe!)  It felt like it took forever to make.  We waited with baited breath.  Anchovies are reel salty. The pizza was loaded with other toppings: peppers (green, red, orange, and yellow), onions, tomatoes, olives, cheese, and pepperoni. When I took a bite of a slice that had anchovies, the taste of the anchovies over-powered the taste of everything else.

Here's a picture of the pizza after I put the anchovies on it (and before I put everything else on it).  As you can see, the anchovies are on three quarters of the pizza.  There were four of us that night.  The pizza would be divided by four.  I asked "Should I make two slices with anchovies?"  They said "Two?  Nahhhh, make it three... just for the halibut."

Well, it was a fun night.  You might even say it was like salmon chanted evening.

Incidentally, I didn't eat any of the anchovies raw.  I was afraid I might fall eel.  Then I would have needed some real professional kelp.  I might have even needed a team of sturgeons to trawl through my system to cure me.

My experience is that anchovies aren't very common, so if you'd like to try them and you're in a store and you see a jar of anchovies, you'd better snapper up before someone else does.  But, if someone else tries at the same time, you might get in a fight.  Then it will down come to mussel.  Who knows, in a thousand years anchovies could be extinct.

And now, as the French would say: La Fin!

(PS:  Sorry for the crappie puns.  They didn't serve any great porpoise and I'm sure you've just about haddock with them.  I suppose I should have warned you.  Oh whale.  Caviar Emptor.)

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