Thursday, June 22, 2006

How Max Got His Name

As you know the names used on this blog have been changed to protect the unlucky. Even the dogs have psuedonyms. This story takes place when I was beginning the blog, and trying to come up with names for everyone.

The big, white dog, Max, gets these bones to chew on. They're small, kind of round, and white. Sometimes they have red bits in and around them. He generally chews them outside. We prefer that he keeps his bones outside, rather than inside. But sometimes he manages to get a bone inside.

Now, when Max is chewing on something he can be unfriendly if disturbed. He's normally pretty harmless, but not when he's got something in his mouth. It could be a bone, his food or something else. For some reason he has a penchant for candy wrappers. And he's even taken used kleenex away and chewed on that for a while. (eeeewwwww!!!!)

Now, if he's chewing garbage we like to take it from him. Who knows, he may choke on a plastic bag or something. It's just not a good idea to eat garbage. But, as I've mentioned, taking it from him is not an easy task. He's very protective of it. But, it is possible to disturb him and make him forget about it for a minute. To do this someone needs to call him. He'll drop what he's doing, and answer the call, esp. if he thinks there may be more tasty food in it for him.

About a month ago one evening he was sitting inside, by the back door chewing on a small, round white thing. A couple of us were in the living room watching TV. The lights were low. He must have brought one of his bones in. Pastor Jack called him away. He dropped in and answered Jack's call. I went to pick up the bone. But this time it looked a little different. It looked like a bone: small, round, white with bits of red around it. It was dark, so I bent down to get a closer look. I took hold of a small corner and lifted it up. It was light. Too light for a bone.

A wave of panic came over me.

I walked into the kitchen, where the lights were on, asking "Is this what I think it is?" As I came into the light I was horrified to see that it was what I thought it was! It was a used feminine hygiene product!!

GROSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

How can anyone put that in their mouth!!! Even a dog!!! Ewwwww!!!!!!

I ran towards a garbage can, whilst shrieking. I threw it out and washed my hands in warm, soapy water. Several times.

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